Topic: debate :

[Debs]

this  statement was on a msn group that i help to run....

Marriage is a fundemental part of a relationship.
If a couple wish to live together they should get married. As far as to many are concerned it is only a piece of paper anyway, so what would be the harm.
I strongly feel that ALL children should be born in "wedlock" so as to give them the most stable background as possible.

what are your thoughts on the subject....is HE right or wrong in his thinking?

[Debs]

i for one would not have had children without being married..... but that is through preferance not to "give them the most stable background as possible" that is  just not practical or right.. being married and " a couple" doesnt give you the sole rights to being happy and stable.. 2 parents living seperatly can be more stable than a married couple hating each other.    i stayed for my kids...and it was the wrong thing to do. and i would certainly never advise anyone to do it either... it just wont work adn the kids wont thank you for it when they are older either.....               

some men are supposed to be married and have kids....and that certainly goes for some women either....... 

[baldy]

He should have said:
 
"Marriage is a fundamental part of a permanent relationship."
 
Children need the stability of a permanent relationship that marriage is supposed to encourage.
 
I blame the Government for undoing the purpose and status of marriage by allowing gay couples to think that they can get "married" too and by doing away with the former tax breaks for married couples.
 
I am not homophobic and I believe in equality and recognised legal partnerships for gay couples, but treating such partnerships as equal to marriage between a man and woman undoes the true value of "marriage" which is between a man and a woman.
 
Just my opinion ... as someone who has never married.

[Debs]

I blame the Government for undoing the purpose and status of marriage by allowing homosexuals to think that they can get married too and by doing away with the former tax breaks for married couples.
 
I am not homophobic and I believe in equality and recognised partnerships, but treating such partnerships as equal to marriage between a man and woman is not right and undoes the true value of "marriage".

 
i certainly dont see how that makes sense...what has being gay got to do with having children in a stable relationship  ie marriage. but each to their own

[Debs]

"Marriage is a fundamental part of a permanent relationship."

im in a permanent relationship..but marriage isnt anything to do with it...and nor will it be.... marriage is not the be all and end all of everything bellieve me.

[bernie]

poppycock baldy ive been in a relationship for over 20 years and when the chance came up for  us to legally bind our partnership we did it do not underestimate the gay and lesbian community please we are bigger than actually recognised  we have rights and we are human beings thankyou children obviosly we can not bare them ourselves but we do some of us have morals and a christian understanding of whats right and wrong and we would love to give a loving home to a child in need they would probably have a better life with us filled with love and wanted than an orhanage

[baldy]

i certainly dont see how that makes sense...what has being gay got to do with having children in a stable relationship  ie marriage. but each to their own

Marriage is for permanent relationships. It is the ideal relationship to have children in.
 
I must emphasise that I support the civil partnerships for gay couples to allow them equal legal rights to married men and women.
 
I did not want to bang on about gay couples. This debate is about marriage, and assume that it really meant a marriage between a man and woman with the possibility of their own children.

[baldy]

Bernie, I meant no offence or annoyance. My first post was a bit clumsy as I did not think through properly what a gay person might think. I was thinking about the value of a marriage between a man and woman, which has declined in recent times ... and this decline is at least partly due to lack of Government support in many ways.
 
The point about gay civil partnerships being regarded by some as "marriage" also, was just to emphasise the point about the declining value of marriage between a man and woman.

[Debs]

we would love to give a loving home to a child in need they would probably have a better life with us filled with love and wanted than an orhanage

......or in an unstable marriage that is nothing but arguements and fights and police visits for year in year out....  :'(


the original statement that i posted doesnt cater for those children born through rape,  one night stands and accidents.... would they be loved least because their parents arent in a stable "marriage"  i dont think so... just because your married it doenst mean ur kids are going tobe better loved, behaved or what ever............. some kids from single parents have better lives than if they had got together with the father

[bernie]

what the hell do you think a civil partnership is then ITS A MARRIAGE we dont go round  having sex with people willynilly man! asfor children many hetrosexual couples marry and can not have them so whats the differnce we can all contribute to a childs life no matter and i do such with my family and friends children which we love and enjoy.

[Debs]

parents who care and nurture are more important than parents who are married to each other... and hate each other..... so if thats one person be they male or female or 2 people... 2 men.....2 women or 1 man and 1 woman  the combination doesnt really matter so long as they are all pulling the rsame way and not sending negative vibes and in a loving relationship.... a piece of paper does not make you a good parent just because you have it

[baldy]

I'm not suggesting anything about gay couples. I never mentioned anything about morals or loyalty to their partner.
 
I accept that many gay couples do make good parents.
 
My point was about the real meaning of "marriage" which, I think, is about the relationship between a man and woman which is ideal for having children.
 
I meant no offence to gays and have nothing against gays. Heck, I know quite a few quite well with no problem at all.
 
Best wishes

[Debs]

right im gonna love you and leave you .... its bedtime for me i think....
 play nicely boys !!!!!!!!!!    plzzz    

[bernie]

i will not hold that against you baldy iam a christian and will not take offence

[bernie]

but just rememb ;)er us lesbians can have stable lives and children if we wish