Author Topic: Old Age  (Read 2598 times)

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Offline Debs

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Old Age
« on: July 29, 2008, 22:21:17 pm »

     Just  before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly  widow and asked, "How  old was your husband?" "98," she  replied. "Two  years older than me" "So  you're 96," the undertaker commented. She  responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it? 
    Reporters  interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And  what do you think is the best thing About  being 104?" the reporter asked. She  simply replied, "No peer pressure." 
    The  nice thing about being senile is You  can hide your own Easter eggs. 
    I've  sure gotten old!   I've  had two bypass surgeries, a hip  replacement, New  knees, fought prostate cancer and  diabetes I'm  half blind, Can't  hear anything quieter than a jet engine, Take  40 different medications that Make  me dizzy, winded, and subject to  blackouts. Have  bouts with dementia . Have  poor circulation; Hardly  feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't  remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have  lost all my friends. But, thank God, I  still have my driver's license. 
  I feel  like my body has gotten totally out of  shape, So I  got my doctor's permission to Join a  fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent,  twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.  But, By the  time I got my leotards on, The  class was over. 
   My  memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also,  my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. 
    Know  how to prevent sagging? Just  eat till the wrinkles fill out. 
   It's  scary when you start making the same  noises As  your coffee  maker.
    These  days about half the stuff In my  shopping cart says, " For  fast relief." 
    THE  SENILITY PRAYER : Grant  me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The  good fortune to run into the ones I do, and The  eyesight to tell the difference.   

Always Remember This:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing!!